Loss of a Friend

I keep hearing the "you're young, you'll get used to it" or "it gets easier over time and then it's not as painful". 

To give you some context, I've had some bad luck around my birthday. I'm not sure what the end of July and the beginning of August brings, but i've dealt with quite a lot of loss around this time. Actually, as I write this post, I just found out a close friend of mine passed away yesterday.

I've been hearing a lot of the above, and the funny thing is, I've experienced a quite a few close friends passing away now at the age of 27. And it does not get easier. Yes, the first death was terribly hard. That's because I'd never experienced the loss of a close friend, and didn't know the type of pain it brought me. I'd experienced a death in the family, and I'd experienced a pet dying, but I hadn't experienced something that also affected my friends around me, and had felt so angry at the world for taking someone away so soon. 

I think the death of someone young is incredibly sad. There is so much this person hasn't done, there is so much for them yet to do, or accomplish, or see or experience. And chances are, they were taken too soon and too suddenly. 

I read this really lovely quote, that when you experience death often, it doesn't make things easier, and it doesn't become more natural and easier to cope. Instead, it reminds you how much that person meant to you and how much you cared for them and that pain was a reflection of that. This writer said that over time, it was still very painful when someone he knew passed away, but he learned to acknowledge and accept that pain for what it was and view it as a sign of how much he loved that person.

No one can judge how a person feels or deals with grief. A death affects everyone differently. Maybe it is abrupt and sudden and strong feelings of grief. Maybe it's slow moving sadness that you don't notice until you've been experiencing it for weeks. Maybe it's posting on social media, or maybe it's staying silent. Maybe its mourning at home, or maybe it's celebrating life out at a bar. You cannot judge a persons response to grief because everyone deals with it in a unique way that is okay and comfortable for them. 

So, not the most uplifting post, but definitely something that's on my mind right now. It's alright to still get upset and sad and cry whether it's the first person that you know that has passed or the 50th. You decide how you want to cope and how you want to grieve. 

Wishing lots of love to all of my friends and family and those that hold a place in my heart. And don't forget to tell everyone you love them or how much they mean to you. 

Lots of Love
E